Dave Barry’s Money Secrets: Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?

I’m almost always amused by Dave Barry’s books. Some of his humor is a bit juvenile but overall his books are generally worth the money. This one was no different and there were several laugh-out-loud sections, particularly when he discussed purchasing a car and his opinion of several cars, including the Aztek (the “Buttmobile”). His vision of the corporate world was also hilarious to me as I was one of the many individuals who suffered when Coca-Cola decided to change its formula; I mean, what were they thinking??? The Suze Orman shtick got a bit old but overall this book was well worth my time.
Rating: 4 / 5

Sadly enough, Barry makes more sense than most of the economics professors, money managers, and state financial officials who I have met. Barry is indeed smarter than a monkey and funnier than Karl Marx. In the financial world, these are two wonderful qualities! His analysis of Social Security only has one major flaw, a better job than our federal friends have done, although I am sure he did not intend to be accurate. Frankly, pointy headed economics instructors should make this title required reading. Although most economic students are too boring to laugh, their boyfriends/girlfriends might get it. As difficult a task as it is to be funny throughout an entire book, Barry does a good job. Think about it. Who would you rather have telling you how to manage your money: some certified money flushing financial planner, or Dave Barry? Yipes! Watch out for the squirrels!
Rating: 5 / 5

How do you plan to finance your retirement?

1. Savings

2. Social Security

3. Sale of kidneys

You need to be honest in your answer. If you lie, you’ll only

be lying to yourself. And, according to advice given

in DAVE BARRY’S MONEY SECRETS (from which this question

was taken), “The place to lie in on your federal tax return.”

This is a very funny guide that spoofs much of the personal

financial advice that can be found in other books, TV shows

and online . . . save your money on them; buy this one

instead . . . you may not get rich if you do, but you will

certainly laugh a lot.

Barry has previously written on such other topics as politics, fitness

and parenting . . . I enjoyed those, but this latest one may well be

his very best–especially because it will make you wonder why

people behave the way they do when it comes to money.

For example, in the above quiz, he states, “That if your answers

are all threes [on all the questions], be advised that we’re having

a minor technical problem calculating your score because of

Nigerian red tape. To smooth things out, we need you to send

us an ‘advance fee’ of $5,000, which you will get back many

times over.”

The amazing thing is that many people do just that!

There were many other hilarious tidbits; among them:

* Many children learn about money by starting their own businesses,

the classic example being the sidewalk lemonade stand. This is an

opportunity to teach your child fundamental economic principles.

I’m not suggesting that you encourage your child to have a lemonade

stand; that’s WAY too much work. I’m suggesting that you

explain to your child that if he buys lemonade from some other

kid’s stand, and then happens to choke on a lemon seed, they you

would be in a position to sue the other kid’s parents for thousands

of dollars. That is what I mean by “fundamental economic principles.”

* One way to take money is in the form of traveler’s checks. The way

these work is, you give a traveler’s check company a bunch of money,

and the traveler’s check company gives you some checks. You cash

some of these checks on your trip, and when you get home you put

the rest of them in the back of your sock drawer for safekeeping, and then

you forget all about them. Eventually you die, and the traveler’s check

company gets to keep the money you paid for the uncashed checks

forever.

And this final one that–while presented in a humorous fashion–makes

much sense at least to me:

*Presidential Election Campaign Fund checkoff box: If you check this

box, $3 of your taxes will be earmarked for a special fund to pay for

presidential campaigns. Notice that the government does not permit

you to earmark money for poor people, or sick people, or national

defense. No, the government permits you to earmark money only

for the purpose of enabling politicians to produce TV commercials

designed to appeal to voters who have the IQ of a Vienna sausage.

To make matters worse, some of this federal campaign money goes

to candidates who have about as much chance of getting elected

president as SpongeBob SquarePants. In 2004, of example, more than

$800,000 of earmarked U.S. taxpayer dollars went to Lyndon LaRouche,

a convicted felon and complete space loon who has been running

for president since 1980, and who has claimed, among other things,

that Walter Mondale was a Soviet agent and Queen Elizabeth II is

a drug dealer. If you check the Presidential Election Campaign Fund box,

it won’t affect the amount of tax you owe, but I will lose all respect

for you.

Rating: 5 / 5

I laughed on literally EVERY page of the first half of this book! Then I laughed at something on about every other page . . . This book is a hilarious parody of financial advice from books, shows, and ‘experts.’ Somehow, Dave Barry brings Coca-Cola executives, a man getting a very sensitive part blown off by fireworks, and The Louisiana Purchase into educating his readers about finances.

Photographs of Donald Trump, Suze Orman, Prince Charles, Alan Greenspan and Punxsutawney Phil add to chapters with titles like “Providing for Medical Care; You’ll Need Some Leeches,” and “How to Argue With Your Spouse About Money; The Nuclear Option; Tampons.”

This gift is a great gift for someone who knows nothing about finances, or knows everything but chooses to follow none of the “professional” advice, and it’s perfect for those people who know and FOLLOW all of “the rules” about finances.

ENJOY!
Rating: 5 / 5

I admire people who don’t take themselves or life in general too seriously. Dave Barry fits the bill and does so while giving us all a few chuckles. I wouldn’t call “Dave Barry’s Money Secrets : Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?” comedy although it is funny. Dave has a special wit I’ve enjoyed for years, and what I like the best in this book is his ability to make fun of the most mundane topic and his talent in making us all laugh at ourselves. Dave Barry’s humor can be compared to Bill Maher or Jerry Seinfied, but with more of a family focus. Recommended for light reading and laugh out loud fun.
Rating: 5 / 5