GOING BACK TO WORK

This experience for me was very traumatic and is the point that I began to realise how much control money had over my life. The fact that my partner was ill and unable to work intensified the feelings, I’m sure, but nevertheless I am sharing my honest account as I always do.

After I had my little boy, I loved being at home with him. I relished it so much that I actually felt that I lived in a different world from everyone else – my own bubble, which I loved. When he was six months old, I had to return to work for financial reasons. I knew it would be tough but did not realise just how much it would affect me. I only went back part-time and was moved to a different department on my return. I was a total, utter mess and felt like part of me was missing every morning I went out. If I was alone in the office, I would cry. Before this, I was quite a sensible, calm, moderate person, so my new emotions were a bit scary for me to cope with. My baby was at home with his granny, so I was lucky that I did not have to worry about nurseries or childminders, but I still felt really sorry for myself. I resented the world for making me leave my child and was very angry. It didn’t help that all my friends seemed to have partners who had money, so they didn’t have to go back to work. They regularly went on holidays and nights out, bought great things for their children and themselves, and basically had great lifestyles without having to work – someone please tell me, where is the fairness in that? As you can see, at this point in my life I didn’t exactly ooze peace and love and really did think life had dealt me a bad hand.

Before my son’s birth, I was never a person who saw money as important and was never jealous of people who had more than me. I didn’t like what this was doing to me and started reading self-help books like they were going out of fashion. I began to realise that the only way to change my situation was to begin to take control of my life. This meant I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and face my problems head on.

I had worked my way up to a senior position with my employer but knew in my heart that I did not wish to go any further and needed a change in my career. I realised that my path in life was not the same as my friends and that perhaps there was another ambition in me which had to be filled. I began to realise that I had let life get on top of me and began to let myself dream again as I had not done for years.

I found it quite difficult to think of what I wanted to do at first and thought I would never find anything that I would like to do. It was then that my partner and I decided to start our own business. I began to feel alive again and excited about life; it instilled a passion in me I had not felt for ages. I began to have faith that our new venture could succeed. To begin with, everything seemed to be against us, but we believed in ourselves and slowly we began to see things changing. It was hard, but exhilarating, work, and I began to see my confidence and self-esteem soar as we became more and more successful. I have heard that if you keep your faith during the hard times, God will take you out of it into a better situation. Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s true – the difficult bit is remembering that in the hard times!!

Some of you may be able to identify with me and some of you may not, but through these times I found a few things which might help your path back into work run a bit more smoothly:

Talk to your boss – Think about what shifts would suit your childcare arrangements and don’t be afraid to go in and negotiate something that will work for you both. You may find that if you are working part-time you can fit your work around your husband’s so you don’t need childcare – remember to make sure you actually do have time where you see one another, though.

Work/life balance – If you loved your job before and can’t wait to get back, remember that children change everything and you will feel pulled in both directions. If at all possible, see if there is any chance you can go back part time at least to begin with to see how you manage.

Grandparents – Ask them if they would like to help you out with childcare when you are working. They may want to take an active role or may just be able to help you out when you are stuck; either way, it is very beneficial. If you have siblings living nearby who have kids, you could possibly come to childcare arrangements with them.

Getting to know you – I tried not to think of going back to work, hoping it would go away, which is a stupid idea. If your child is going to day care, make sure you arrange days for them to visit before you go back to work. Find out who provides the lunch and snacks and what they want you to pack with your child.

Childcare – I have found the best way to find good childcare is through talking to other parents whose judgement you respect. They can recommend good childcare, and you can talk to their children, maybe even go along to drop them off and see their reaction. This will set your mind at ease, especially if your child is too young to tell you what she thinks.

Be organised –Write all the childcare shifts you and your partner are taking on a calendar and organise the childcare appropriately. If you are using nurseries or childminders, you will have to book in advance.

Get into a routine – I hate routine and have rebelled against it for years, but I have come to realise it is the best way to effortlessly get things done – find one that suits you and stick with it.

Fulfil your destiny – If you hate your work, start thinking about what you would like to achieve in your life. Make sure you think about it, are sure of your direction once you begin to take action and go for it. Because I could not afford to give up my job until our business was established, I had to work at our other business in my free time. It was hard work, but knowing I was taking steps to fulfil my dream really helped. Do anything, however small, and you will be amazed how quickly things start to happen.

Thank you very much for reading my article I have a new ebook out at the moment with free MP3 Audio – please visit:

http://www.tearstantrumsandjoy.com